i wonder if the struggle to survive was worth it...i wanted to be free...no more fear...
...then freakin 2 years of extreme poverty, struggling to feed my son...court...battered women's shelters, mental health services...no one helped...they couldn't because it was and always will be up to me...support services for battered women...why don't you get help...why did it take so many times to leave...
because i had absolutely no help or support...i should clarify that...i had support 'services' in place but they fell completely apart...
because the justice system is very unjust in awarding restraining orders
cops think it's fucking ok to answer their private cellphones when i'm shaking and sobbing uncontrollablly
because i was beaten to a pulp so many times throughout my life i really believed i deserved it
because i belived him when he said he was sorry
because i loved him
or is it because i'm a stupid fucking idiot...
